It seems only yesterday when I got hit with a truckload of guilt and remorse. I remember the time when he was at the height of dependency, I used to go out partying with friends, rather than taking care of him myself. And when he craves for my attention, I get really angry and tell him to go to sleep or watch Blues Clues on TV.As anyone could probably guess, yes, I used to be an insensitive, irresponsible mother.
But all is forgotten. I've honestly thought of myself as a changed person.
I was able to reach a breaking point that my personal identity was not lost just because I bore a child.
Although there were (realistically) times that I still holler at him for disturbing whatever multi-tasking I'm doing. Or hitting a high stress-level for not following my instructions. I get so ballistic whenever he points out that he doesn't want me to be working here or there and express disdain whenever I had to sacrifice my time to work than be with him. All sort of negativity would pop right into my head because I thought that I have been given things more than I could handle.
Hmmm.. I guess it's just a phase every single mother gets at times.
As I change my views and perspectives. I realized that my son is my most important chore. That whatever I do, it was all for him. I now find comfort of coming home, knowing that when I wake up the next morning, he'll rush to my side just to show his unconditional affecti
on to his once-irresponsible mom. I find joy whenever he goes to school, he'll utter the words "I'll miss you while I'm at school".My life is changing dramatically these days just because of the simple things a child can do that touches the heart of a mother.
What all happened was then..
But this is now.
Although I should have learned this a long long long time ago.
On a brighter side, there is never too late for anything. We can always fill the gaps and become a better person, a better mother. It's also a good thing that my son turned out the best.
0 comments:
Post a Comment