Reuniting With The World

I should be thanking my parents for making me move to different schools year after year. Imagine attending 12 schools in my academic life.. For a normal teenager, it must be a rotten hell. But for me, it was an adventure. If not for their decision to go to different places wherein they never included me, I would not have learned a lot.

For years of living in this world, I have been blessed with too much friends and acquaintances. People I have built connections and shared my life with. Friends whom I fondly call as the extraordinary people, who reached out their hands when I felt all alone. Who became a part of my family, much more, became a part of theirs. Together, we paved our way to self-discovery and realize our potential. Neat huh?

My childhood friends. My second family.
These people who are so used to the fact that year after year, they will listen to my rantings about going somewhere and still, are there, waiting for me at the end of the day.

I have always thought of myself as a best friend to everybody (hmm, almost) and so are they.
But as we grow older, we also realize that we can't be together forever.

There will always be a time in your life that even though you value a great camaraderie, friendships will become stagnant and conflicts will arise..
.. And rash decisions are often made for friends to lead separate ways.

That, happens to everybody.
It happened to us.

For years, I have become a busybody, either focusing on my career or my personal life. I have truly forgotten how much I enjoyed life with these people. To my guess, I think it was all about the wretched feeling I had kept through all these years that I never turned back and smile at them.

Yet time heals all wound. I have come to forgive them and forgive myself for any harm that we caused each other.
We're all grown ups anyway.

As the clock ticks, I am nearing my fate to them.
Reuniting with them is like reuniting with the world.
I felt home again.

Finding Peace In Failure

Cynical. That is what most people are.

In our personal relationships, we tend to listen but never absorb, we never understand. We take their word but never give the benefit. In helping others, we find flaws before giving assistance. Oftentimes, we turn our backs and dismiss it like there was nothing ever happened. In ourselves, we doubt our abilities, capacities, our gifts. We are sometimes clouded with pessimism that generates negativity in our lives...

It was only recently that I have given my utmost trust to a person I have long knew. A colleague which I had been respecting for so long. But what turned out was a complete disappointment and hatred. It was not a good thing but I had let it enter my heart, making me fastidiously restless and ungratified.

I began to believe that he can make a big difference since this person knew what I sacrificed to pursue a life-long dream. And as I have been counting the days, weeks and months, there was still nothing to compensate the things you have been doing for the betterment of myself and others.

It was then I started to cover myself with cynicism.
People really have a knack of making promises then break it. Truly talented in dashing hopes (myself included).

After ending such trivial pursuit, an old common friend has told me that disappointments are part of human err. That what is most important, is, I have been extended small efforts, gestures and favors. Something that can be made a big difference only if seeing it in another perspective.

I felt at peace now.
Besides, I have something to be grateful for... I gained new friends.

Looking for Something Deep

It has been approximately five months and two days since I haven't opened this blog. I realized that I stopped writing since Tommee left for overseas.

There were no special reasons.
It just happened.

And for that five months, a lot has happened in my life which left me alone and desolate. Other times, happy and contented. It was indeed a series of roller coaster ride fate has given me.

There were so many stories to tell, but I have seem to run out of thoughts.
Thoughts that I ought to be using in writing a piece.

This is a moment of a writer's life wherein complete brain inactivity passes through.
I'm hating it.