At Least I Got A Message

Tonight, I was woken out of a sound sleep by the sound of my cell phone beeping like crazy. As I leaped to my feet, I slowly took off my arms of my son sleeping dreamily in La-La land. I could not really see the message because of the glaring light so I took a moment first. I don't really get text messages nowadays, most especially in godly hours so I wonder who possibly thought of me when everybody knows I sleep early now.

After several deep breaths in an effort to wake up, I read the message again and it was from an old flame asking me one question that I hated to be asked. My own Pandora's box has opened again for a thousandth time and paranoia had me stalking since then.

Anyway, I managed to respond the message but just then I forced myself again to sleep, I hardly couldn't get my concentration. So here I am, trying to tire my mind away so I can finally get some peaceful slumber.

The SMS I got was simple, but my paranoia is horrible. Thinking about my carefree life was again piercingly loud and obnoxious in my head. It was deafening that I had to get up and work on this post. I silently cursed myself for being the person that who I was years ago.

Yet, at some point, I actually found yours truly thinking to myself, "Jeez! I'm tired of the riffraff who still think that people can never ever change." "What would happen if I didn't stop?" I envisioned myself in a bed of thorns, with glaring lights of red, blue and white, so cold and alone. The thought was so scary that I almost shivered. Life back then was too tiring. I was too tired to fully enjoy the fantasy of being in another world. I haven't been in that exhausting stage for so many years and I am glad to see myself moving forward.

It is only when I realized that the message wasn't aimed directly at me but rather a question of where I can find one. It's funny somehow. There will always be one person who will be left a really strong impact and it led me to think that the impact I have given this person was so strong that he can hardly forget that things that I have used to do, when I, have completely forgotten it until this moment. Tsk tsk.. It's not good most especially if the person is someone you love. Or should I say someone that I used to???

Though there is something to be glad about. I know that my subconscious is in a better place.

And I am happy that at least I got a text from him.
(Yeah right!)