I'd like you to know more than anything else, that I have thought of you every single day for quite some time now.. I've been fighting back to send you a message or give you a call whenever I have the urge to connect with you. I have to be honest, I am truly resisting myself off the memories of everything we've had gone through.
But it just couldn't be helped.
I have a lot of "I Know's," when it comes to you, to which some of it are:
- I know you go through your daily life without thinking of me.
- I know you feel awkward with me. Most especially the part where common friends try to tease if we're back again.
- I know that I'm the last person in the planet you'll ever look for.
- I know that you are on your own, happily living your life.
- I know you have forgotten a lot of things that we have had.
- I know that when I will try to catch your attention, you'll turn me down.
.. all of these, still hurts me more than before.
And most of all, I know that whenever I need you, you will no longer be there.
The longing is still here. And I just wish I could take everything back.
But I'm already half a decade late.
So cheers to my angst and my solitude.
And to this letter which I can never ever send.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
I Miss These Boys Too
When Uanih 동생 left POMIC and I was exaggeratedly left alone, I still continue to be updated of the things she has influenced me: SUPER JUNIOR.
But as weeks went by, I seem to set our boys aside, most especially after failing to reserve tickets for the Super Show 3 concert next year.
Of course,I am also blaming my work loads on why I deliberately forgotten them.
But truthfully, I kinda miss the late nights watching SuJu and reading their articles courtesy of http://sup3rjunior.wordpress.com, (check this out!) one of the best sites created for these charming lads.
Despite of the tired body that I'm having, at least I got to browse some of the articles and pictures...
Now this is something to look forward to.
Getting updated has to be done this weekend.
But as weeks went by, I seem to set our boys aside, most especially after failing to reserve tickets for the Super Show 3 concert next year.
Of course,
But truthfully, I kinda miss the late nights watching SuJu and reading their articles courtesy of http://sup3rjunior.wordpress.com, (check this out!) one of the best sites created for these charming lads.
Despite of the tired body that I'm having, at least I got to browse some of the articles and pictures...
 |
| CREDITS TO THE OWNER. |
 |
| Courtesy of http://sup3rjunior.wordpress.com |
Now this is something to look forward to.
Getting updated has to be done this weekend.
The Fear I Will Never.. Ever.. Overcome
Only few people know that I have a phobia of heights.
Sure, I have jumped a cliff for leisure, even 6 meters (or is it feet?) above the ground for my survival class. I tried roller coasters, climbed mountains and took zip lines which I have to see the overlooking view of the area. People think I am the adventurous type, trying out risky challenges but really, only a handful knows how scared to death I am.
Today, reality bitch-slapped me when I have come face to face with my fear.
I woke up so early this morning to attend NEO for work in HP Taguig site. I told myself a hundred times that I don't want to experience another rush hour most especially when I commute from Marilao to the city. I left at 6:30 A.M. but, in the end, I failed to hail a cab at the usual place I get one.
So what's the next best thing?
I decided to commute by subway (LRT) going to Edsa and that is where I decided to catch a taxicab. When I got there after an hour of dreadfully dragging myself in the midst of a crowded train, I still failed.
It was scorching today in the city but I had to move my ass faster not to be late. I got the last option: Climb up the overpass to get to the next lane, take a bus, a jeepney or whatever to reach McKinley in time.
My feet were heavy like there were numerous chains on but I did not have much of a choice so I headed. I took my first, second, third step, "Hmmm, seems manageable." I continued to trod until I had a glimpsed underneath and saw the freeway with cars and buses and trucks running like there's no tomorrow and the foot bridge just started trembling.
I was already at the flight of the stairs and came to my senses that the bridge wasn't like the ones I used to walk on when I was a child. This was my first time to take a flight in this kind of bridge. It is made of metal and every time I take a step, a gentle but eerie thud is all I can hear.To top it all of, the steps doesn't have support, and one stupid slip could make your bones break or even meet your end.
As you can guess, my knees started to get weak and couldn't make myself take another step.
I stopped right in the middle and felt nauseous.
But I had to do it.
And so I did.
So when I finally hailed a cab, my knees were still shaking, I silently thank God for keeping me safe.
I gave myself a million-dollar worth of relief for facing my fear.
Then again, it doesn't really mean I have overcome it.
Again, lessons learned. Never to use foot bridges again. Even MRT in Shaw Blvd station
Or I'll die of panic attack.
Sure, I have jumped a cliff for leisure, even 6 meters (or is it feet?) above the ground for my survival class. I tried roller coasters, climbed mountains and took zip lines which I have to see the overlooking view of the area. People think I am the adventurous type, trying out risky challenges but really, only a handful knows how scared to death I am.
Today, reality bitch-slapped me when I have come face to face with my fear.
I woke up so early this morning to attend NEO for work in HP Taguig site. I told myself a hundred times that I don't want to experience another rush hour most especially when I commute from Marilao to the city. I left at 6:30 A.M. but, in the end, I failed to hail a cab at the usual place I get one.
So what's the next best thing?
I decided to commute by subway (LRT) going to Edsa and that is where I decided to catch a taxicab. When I got there after an hour of dreadfully dragging myself in the midst of a crowded train, I still failed.
It was scorching today in the city but I had to move my ass faster not to be late. I got the last option: Climb up the overpass to get to the next lane, take a bus, a jeepney or whatever to reach McKinley in time.
My feet were heavy like there were numerous chains on but I did not have much of a choice so I headed. I took my first, second, third step, "Hmmm, seems manageable." I continued to trod until I had a glimpsed underneath and saw the freeway with cars and buses and trucks running like there's no tomorrow and the foot bridge just started trembling.I was already at the flight of the stairs and came to my senses that the bridge wasn't like the ones I used to walk on when I was a child. This was my first time to take a flight in this kind of bridge. It is made of metal and every time I take a step, a gentle but eerie thud is all I can hear.To top it all of, the steps doesn't have support, and one stupid slip could make your bones break or even meet your end.
As you can guess, my knees started to get weak and couldn't make myself take another step.
I stopped right in the middle and felt nauseous.
But I had to do it.
And so I did.
So when I finally hailed a cab, my knees were still shaking, I silently thank God for keeping me safe.
I gave myself a million-dollar worth of relief for facing my fear.
Then again, it doesn't really mean I have overcome it.
Again, lessons learned. Never to use foot bridges again. Even MRT in Shaw Blvd station
Or I'll die of panic attack.
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